Wednesday, September 1, 2010

the plan by lee

by lee

“It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things.” – Donald Miller


i had everything planned.

i was to treat them to dinner. good food, light conversations and enjoy each other’s company.

then after, go somewhere intimate and quiet where we could continue talking just about anything. and slowly segue the very purpose of my invite.

i’ve rehearsed what i was supposed to say. i had everything carefully scripted. prepared answers to questions that might come up. even had lies prepared just in case there are certain questions that i might not yet be ready to reveal.

i was about to strip myself down and be true to two of my close friends.

so, why all this preparation?

i guess the very simple answer is, i had to do it. i needed to do it. i feel like if i don’t tell anyone, i might just burst and go crazy. i felt like that the emotion was eating me up. for quite a long time, i kept how i really feel to myself. but there came a point where i had to have an outlet. to just be me. to be free.

the plan was not all that perfect. it went through a couple of postponements. but, it happened all at the right time.

and i am glad i did. i came out.

first, to myself. then, to two friends i’ve considered very close to. to my co-workers and colleagues. to other PLUs (most of whom i’ve been able to get to know here). and to a few more friends.

it was a whole new discovery. i’ve become closer to my friends. uotten to know wonderful people. Uncovered a whole new me.

and right now, i am preparing myself once again.

for the most important plan.

for my family.


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