In To Be Out by Baklang AJ

By Baklang AJ

[Note: Like Gibbs and CC, I also forgot to sign up for the collective blogging event. I was planning to sign up and begin writing my post, but I was stuck in Pililla, Rizal during the long weekend - without Internet for three days! So here I am, posting about my coming out story. Better late than pregnant, I guess.]



My coming out story from Life’s a Beach, I’m a Bitch:

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Christmas of 2005:



I took 5 days of Vacation Leave from work. I booked a trip to Davao to spend Christmas with my family. I somehow am already tired of family gatherings and parties, but this year, I wanted to go back home and tell my parents who I really am.


The days before Christmas Eve were extremely long as I was spending time with old friends, catching up on our lives. All those days were extremely longer as I was looking for a window of opportunity to come out to my folks.


Coming out is not easy. And you can never be too prepared.


We ate dinner around 8PM and I decided to go back up to my room. I just wanted to lie down, watch TV and wait for midnight. (I guess I’m too old for Christmas. I don’t really feel that sort of excitement children have – waiting for midnight to open the gifts up, then go out and play with other children.) Midnight came and went, but I was asleep. I did not get to do the traditional Christmas Midnight Noche Buena. But it did not matter.


When I got up, I carefully planned in my mind how I would tell my folks about me. Everytime I came out to someone, I made sure I broke it to them gently.


Since it was the 25th of December and the Metro Manila Film Festival Philippines already started, I quickly came up with a grand plan.


Mano Po 4: Ako Legal Wife was the only movie I planned on watching during this season’s film fest. I knew that there existed a character named Hamilton Chong (played by John Prats), a closeted gay man. This, I knew, should set the pace for me.


After the film, I brought them to Blugre Cafe (there is no Starbucks in Davao, and Blugre is the next best thing). My older brother and I brought our laptops and did some stuff for work there. The cafe had free wifi access (yes there is wifi in Davao!).


I was chatting with my boyfriend [insert ex's name] over ym. Then I went on to open his friendster account and view his pictures. My mom was curiously looking at my monitor. Then she asked who were in the pictures. “My Friends”, I quipped.


Less than five minutes later, I showed her one of Ex-boyfriend’s pix and told her that the guy was my “uyab”. Uyab is the bisaya androgynous term for BF/GF/Lover, just like the Filipino NOBYO and KASINTAHAN.


“That’s a guy.”


“Yes, he is a guy. His name’s [insert ex's name] and he’s currently in New York.”


“So you’re gay?”


“Yes, I am.”


smiles


“There he is.” I then clicked on Ex-boyfriend’s webcam window


Mom pinches my cheeks, smiling


It was that simple. No complications. She asked me a lot of questions about my bf and my life and about the “close friend” I always hung out with some two to three years ago. I told her that yes, HE was my boyfriend. Then she dropped her bomb.


“Oh, I see. I knew it.”


Then she went on smiling. My mom wears her heart on her sleeve, and I knew that she was happy. She still is. My brothers who were there just looked at HAN’s pics. My brother then made this funny remark: “So, naglaladlad ka na pala. Parang Ako Legal Wife.” Something of that sort. We all laughed.


And that was the end of it.


I am OUT and Proud.


I just wish it was THIS easy for everyone of us. I guess I’m just lucky that I have a family like mine. We may not be emotionally open amongst ourselves, but we sure stand by each other through thick and thin.


It’s IN to be OUT!