Coming Out.
Isa ito marahil sa pinakamahirap na stage sa mga tulad nating gays. Mas mahirap pa ang mag come-out lalo na kung isa ka sa mga tulad ko na medyo healthy at masikip ang pinto na iyong lalabasan. Charing!
Seriously, aminin natin na despite the modernity of times hindi pa rin totally tanggap ang pagiging gay lalo na dito sa ating bansa na very religious and conservative pa rin in terms of tradition and culture. Kahit ano pang pag-aaral at advancement ang ginagawa at binibigay ng kasalukuyang academe ay hindi pa rin open and broader ang understanding ng karamihan sa ating mga mamamayan. Sad to say, isa ito sa mga dahilan kung bakit nahihirapang lumabas sa closet ang illan nating kapatid sa pananampalataya. Takot sa magiging reaction ng kani-kanilang pamilya at ang lipunan as a whole.
In my case, maswerte ako dahil I did not have a problem coming out as a gay individual. In fact, I had no chance of coming out because as far as my memory could reach, I was already a princess since I was a little gurl. Charing!
Oo promise, wala akong matandaang moment kung saan nagpa-pretend akong maging boy or straight. Lahat ng mga kalaro ko noon ang mga kapatid kong babae at ang mga neighbours namin na puro girls. Tuwing nagba-bahay-bahayan naman kami ay palaging girl ang papel ko. Sa totoo lang, mas nauna pa nga akong magkaroon ng Barbie doll kesa sa mga biological sisters ko eh.
When I became older, I realised medyo odd ang aking sexuality because my parents would often scold me when I play with the girls or my other gay neighbours. Doon ko lang yata naintindihan na hindi ako tulad ng ibang lalake dahil sa lamya ng mga kilos ko. I get uneasy whenever I’m in a room or place na maraming boys, feeling ko I don’t belong. Hahaha!
Fortunately, siguro napagod na rin ang mga parents ko sa kaka-reprimand sa akin dahil I was such a hopeless case. Hindi ko rin naman napagdaanan na pasakitan ako ng aking daddy para lang maituwid ang aking sexuality. Even my mother’s super strict attitude did not scare me. I was so confident and comfortable with who or what I am. I also did good in school, both academics and extra-curricular activities kaya kahit ayaw nila sa pagiging gay ko ay natanggap na rin nila eventually because hindi naman ito naka-apekto sa studies ko and I also am helpful at home in terms of doing chores.
When I finished school, I experimented to dress and appear more feminine and surprisingly my family especially my parents did not mind. Siguro I gained their respect that despite the pressure from society and our conservative relatives, I did good by finishing my studies on time, graduating with honours and landing a job on my first application.
Coming out is a difficult stage.
I’m just so glad and lucky that I never went through it. I admire our sisters who had the courage to come out now, putting their lives in a complex state . Strong enough to face the fear of risking their relationship with their families, friends and the society. To all of you who had gone through this obstacle, I wish I had your strength too.
No comments:
Post a Comment