The Battle for Sexuality by Tobie

I hate the fact that many don't understand the real meaning of being bisexual.  Or at least many here in the Philippines intentionally misuse the term for their own purposes.  For those who don't know what I mean, allow me this chance to explain.  Bisexuality is more than just a gay guy who happens to have dated a woman in the past.  Bisexuality is also more than just a gay guy who happens to act masculine.  Bisexuality is definitely more than just a guy who is confused or in denial and is too afraid to embrace the term gay.

But sadly, and I speak about the gay circles in the Philippines, those misconceptions are more often than not believed to be truths.  I have met people who insist that they are bisexual because many years back they actually dated a woman at one point in time.  There have been encounters with groups that call themselves bisexual groups, a definition that they mis-appropriately believe applies to them simply because they avoid all the visible cosmetic, stylistic and audible cues that categorize a person as homosexual.  And sad but true, there have been those whom I have met who are quite frankly gayer than a rainbow unicorn in heels who insist with a straight face that they are bisexual and don't understand why people assume they are gay.

And born from the corruption of the term is the blanket injustice of many claiming bisexuality does not exist.  The term bisexual has been wrongly equated by many to be the clearest sign of a person being homophobic of oneself and afraid of simply embracing the g word.

I am more than just infidelity, damn it.

Even worse, in the Philippines, the closest local term to refer to a bisexual is silahis, which actually translates to "a married guy who sleeps with men."  So rather than just in denial, bisexual is horribly defined as "a specific form of infidelity."   Ugh.

But no matter how many choose to exploit the term bisexual, its true meaning deserves to be understood, accepted and embraced.

I am a bisexual.
And I remain proud to be one.
I have always been one.  And I will always be one.
I am not in a phase.  I am not in denial.
And I am damned sure I am not the only one.

Our three official symbols.

Why do I say I am one?  It isn't because of the fact I don't like wearing cosmetics or women's clothing.  It has nothing to do with the fact that I have no illusions of seeing myself as a woman trapped in a man's body.  It is not because most people would have trouble accepting the fact that I am not straight, even if my manner of moving, the intonations of my speech, or my choice of clothing would support the idea that I am a guy, and a geeky guy at that. It does somewhat stem from the fact I have had girlfriends in the past (including one I already had dreams of getting engaged with at one point in time) but that's just part of the reason.  And it definitely is not because I am afraid of being identified or called gay.  I have come out to my parents and to the world.  I am proud and out in my many blogs, on my facebook account, and in each day of my life.  In fact, I embrace the term "gay" since the term does officially encapsulate anything that is not straight.

What makes me clearly identify myself as bisexual is knowledge that in all the times that I have fallen in love with someone, and by love I mean felt an emotional connection with another person that includes sexual attraction, intellectual stimulation and an emotional bond, it never mattered to me if that person was a man or a woman.  The other person's gender was never a factor.

"Impossible!"  some would declare, "To fall in love with another, regardless if that person had a dick or a pussy?  How is that possible even?"

But that's just how it really is for me.  In my life, I've learned that my reciprocity of another person's passions was lot hindered by a person's sex.  I have found myself completely engaged in women just as much as in men, with only the individual's personality being a key factor if I were to try to decide who do I like more.

I have heard of what most naysayers proclaim:  Surely, there is one I lean more towards.  Surely, if I perfer men more, I should be gay and not bisexual.  Or gay but in denial.    But what does it mean if I prefer women more?  Am I straight but pretending?

Ultimately, however, with my own experiences as evidence, I have come to understand my bisexuality as being able to love another person regardless of the person's sex.   And if given a choice between a man and a woman, my answer would be:  Well I'd choose whoever between the two I did love more.

"But what if you loved them equally?  Absolutely equally in all accounts?  Who would you choose?"

In all honesty, if such an unlikely scenario occurred, my answer would be, "Both."

A few weeks back, I got into an argument while chatting with one of my gay friends.  We were discussing about the strange need of people to define everything when out of the blue, my friend declared, "What I hate the most is the term bisexual.  It doesn't exist.  No one can ever really love a man or a woman.  Everyone who ever claimed to be bisexual is actually simply someone in denial about his being gay."

Had I never had my Jedi training, my friend would have felt me reach through the internet connection, wrap the projected tendrils of force around his neck, then pull him closer to smash his face against the screen. Not exist?  I don't exist!?!  I sarcastically reminded him that he was talking to a non-existent being, and rather than realize he had touched a nerve, the guy simply continued, "Not anymore right?  I mean, you are seeing a guy now.  So you've accepted you're gay."

Maybe you're all bisexuals in denial.

EXCUSE ME?  Get it in your head, boy.  Who I am dating does not define my gender.  Who I sleep with does not define my sexuality.  If that were true, then prisons are homosexual factories, considering how many men end up getting banged in the ass in there.  But clearly, the act is not the same as the identity of a person.  Not every gay guy who gets drunk and ends up messing around with a girl is bisexual.  They're just drunk and horny.  And likely a tad curious.  But bisexual?  Please.

If all it took was an act, then being gay is just an alternate form of rape.
Clearly, that's not the case.

After all these years of harping the need for the world to accept and recognize that homosexual men and women exist, I find it terribly sad that the same group would be so clearly willing to do the same thing that they have long marched and chanted and pushed against: Discrimination.  Being gay has been equated as a disease, as a phase, as a form of insanity... and for years there has been a push to understand it more as either  a choice, or either as a card that life hands you regardless of what you wanted.    Why can't the same thing be seen to apply to being bisexual?  Or even being heterosexual?

Equality for all.
That includes bisexuals, you know.

Has the need to find acceptance been confused with wanting to blanketly call the world gay and just in denial?
And do we bisexuals need to have our own stonewall incident happen before we too are no longer discriminated by our fellow non-straight friends?

I am bisexual.

And I am loyal to my partner.  Just because I find men and women attractive doesn't mean I am unable to keep myself aware of my own decisions.  Infidelity is not the defining trait of one's gender.  So why should bisexuality be confused as such.

Here's hoping within my lifetime a greater and more intelligence acceptance of bisexuality happens.
Like every one else, after all, we only want to be recognized and accepted as equals.


(You can view his post and his blog here.)

pride and prejudice by yosoy richie

it may not seem obvious, pero mahirap maging bading. we've always been stereotyped as screaming or flambouyant and at the same time immoral and improper. i have never actually been subjected to discrimination, but just being gay makes us a target. siguro i'm just grateful that if ever someone would attack me because my sexuality, i would know how to defend myself. subukan lang nila. but i think it's still sad that some of us are being persecuted by simply being true to himself. there are even countries which would sentence a man to death when convicted of being a homosexual. dito sa pinas, as much as we are tolerated, society still have that notion that we'd always end up lonely at walang magmamahal satin ng totoo. minsan nga para lang hindi awkward tawanan ko na rin lang. pero masakit parin. i think no matter what we do society will never really understand us the way we appreciate ourselves. nakakalungkot. siguro yun na rin ang dahilan kung bakit kami tatanda ng magisa. maybe if given the chance, we could prove to everybody that we are no different to our heterosexual counterparts and could live a happy marriage. pero personally, i respect the fact that society is not ready to accept that. sana lang mabigyan din lahat ng bading ng parehong respeto. hindi naman dahil nagbibihis babae ang iba ay may psychologigal disorder na. o kaya naman dahil parlorista ang itsura ay dapat nang bastusin. pati na rin yung mga nagtatago o mga closet gays are subjects of malicious gossips. sana wala nang ganito. tao rin naman kami. minsan nga mas nakakaintindi pa kami. kaya siguro, until the time comes when society opens up her arms to us entirely, iintindihin na lang namin.

(check his blog here.)

Read Me Next Week

One week from now, November 29, discrimination ends.

Or so we hope.

And even it does not, the second theorgy project on discrimination against gays will.

For all ye faithful, we look forward to receiving your posts.

Spread the love. Stop the hate.

Discriminate, Not.

DOES IT ACTUALLY GET BETTER?

So you are not immoral?

Is legislation enough?

Or let us just not be bakla na lang? 

Or bathhouse-hopping?

Discrimination happens to us – that’s you with an s.

It is as palpable as bad smog lingering on your shirt neck for days. It is just as riveting as being ostracized by your fellow bakla. While discrimination is a huge issue, it has angles, corners, facets, shades of grey. So it is what these sisters are offering us on a plate from Mondo – discrimination and your blog about it.

While it does take a while to take that big stain of our world's beautiful face, we can already do much even with a little scrubbing.

Deadline is November 29.

Publishing here on November 30.

And maybe no more than 700 words? Unless you can convince Mandaya yours is a show-stopper.

Email us your post - theorgyblog@gmail.com

(Now we need a good graphic to go with this project. Ideas, anyone? We'll give you a good head if you come up with one.)

I AM NOT YOUR CONCEPT - theorgy tease 102

The sisters have been away ever since that Iraq files got leaked. Somebody need to teach those bobbies a lesson.

Now that we have dusted off the last of them dried American sweat, we are now at that fold where everybody simply had to talk about this:

DISCRIMINATION.

First, they raided Queeriosity. And then those scandals involving Catholic priests and unknowing young altar boys. And of course, not to mention the endless hate crimes against us here, there and everywhere.

Something has to be said. And somebody has to make a stand. And we ain't doing it without a flair.

The announcement will be out this week, our deadline next month.


If somebody or something needs to be buried this time, it is discrimination.

Theorgy Tease 001

If I invite a boy some night
To dine on my fine Finnan Haddie
I just adore, his asking for more
But my heart belongs to Daddy

Or you could say: belonged.

Those who are viciously in love right now can snuck away their posts as the October edition of theorgy will not be about that.

But this:

As you chew/cringe/chastise on this, please await more details.


And forget it's Beyonce. Please.

LABASAN NA! (updated at 11:45 PM, September 5)

They all came for theorgy.

All fifty of them

coming

one

after

the other.

The Third Groupies

Baklang AJ.
Carrie.
Jay.
Mr. Hush Hush.
Robert, the not so typical gay.
Soltero.
Toffer.

The Second Groupies

Adam.

Baklang Maton.
Corporate Closet.

Daredevilry.

Desole Boy.
Edgar Portalan.
Gibbs Cadiz.

J.

Jericho.
jimsimon.

John Stanley.

Kiks.
Lord Fernandez. 

Lyka Bergen.

Mcvie.

Miguel.
Ms. Chuniverse. 
Mugen. 

PJ.

Rocky.

Tobie.

The ZEN Bitch.

The First Groupies

Bobby Barbecho.
Boss Becky.
Buquir.
Cursedgoodblessing at 27.
Dean.
Echoserita.
Ex Jason.
Fickle Cattle.
Jaytee.
Justin.
Lee.
Mandaya Moore.
Manila Raunch.
Mel Beckham.
Melanie.
Nimmy.
Red The Mod.
Richie.
Takeshi.
Thomasian Psychologist.
Von Draye.




Isang round pa nga....



oh and yes, you can click on the names of the 48 bloggers here so you can go straight to their posts here at theorgy.